Average reading time – 10 minutes
Before we start, I just want to point out that “failure” isn’t a word I use too often. It’s harsh, negative and not an accurate reflection of the situation that occurred.
The OED definition of failure is “a lack of success” which again, I think is so harsh especially as everyone has their own picture of what success should be.
However, the title “why not doing things as well as one hoped would turn out is actually a good thing” is a bit of a mouthful, so for this blog, we’ll stick to the traditional word of “failure”.
The trouble with the word failure too, is the connotations we have put on it, such as being a let-down, unworthy or useless.
I bet like me, there are a hundred things you have failed at – mine include passing my driving test first time, my AS levels, a business venture with my dad… But then again, I have also accomplished so much, and I bet you have too.
We are not defined by our failures, but rather they help shape us in to a better version of ourselves.
Many of us get hung up on failure, or even just the thought of failure, and it can be so debilitating that it stops us from trying again and living the life we want to. But in fact, I strongly believe that failure is a good thing and that we could all do with a healthy dose of it once in a while.
Here are 5 reasons why failure is actually beneficial…
Failure benefit 1: It provides a reality check on where we are at
When I failed my AS levels I was devastated. I knew I had cocked up. My dream since I was young was to go to university (and be the first from my family) and I knew that if I didn’t get good A-level grades I would lose my chance.
However why did I fail my AS levels, if university was something I had longed for the past 4 years?! Put simply, I wasn’t in the right mind frame. I was going through some personal issues and I wasn’t happy and that was having a knock-on effect on my study.
Sometimes failing at something, even if you truly desire it, is an indication that something elsewhere isn’t right. The study wasn’t so much the issue, but the other problems going on around me.
Failure benefit 2: The lessons learnt are priceless
Failure can be a useful way to shine a light to reveal what is really going on with your situation and what needs addressing.
A few years ago, my parents and I bought a guesthouse and bar in Cambodia with a friend of my dad’s as a partner in the venture – the expat’s dream of sun, sea and serving drinks to happy holiday makers and fellow westerners who have escaped the rat race. Bliss.
However, just 9 months down the line and we had lost our investment and sold our share. We cut our losses and got out. The dream, gone. This was a dream come true so how did it go sour so quickly?
In hindsight, because we didn’t manage it as well as we could have from the very start – we hadn’t put the right systems in place, we hadn’t established ground rules and expectations with our partner, and problem after problem meant that our profit was being eaten into.
After the initial hurt and anger I came to realise that the lessons learnt from this “failure” are priceless. I learnt a great deal about carving out a business plan, forging a successful business partnership and how the small details in business matter.
If I could turn back time, would I do this all again? Hell yes! I learnt more with the failure of the guesthouse and bar then I ever would from a guru’s “how to” book. Failure gives you an opportunity to learn from your mistaken actions and do what’s right the next time round.
Failure benefit 3: This isn’t a “one shot only” world – just do better next time
Luckily for us, we live in a prosperous world, one where there isn’t just one opportunity to do anything. There are always second chances. Sometimes third. For Edison, there were 1,000 chances to invent the light bulb!!!! If you fail once, then try again. Just don’t be foolish enough to make the same mistakes again.
“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail”
When I was younger and new to the property game (I was lucky enough to have received a small inheritance) I made the cardinal sin of being too soft, not collecting rent and being too lenient. The month’s rolled on and I hadn’t received any rent from my tenant. One year later, a looming court case, an emotional rollercoaster and £5,000 down, I had well and truly “failed”.
However, will I ever make this mistake again? No. Was that my only business opportunity? No.
Failure teaches us to learn from our mistakes so that the next time we can avoid making the same ones. There will be another time too – this world is full of second chances and opportunities, just don’t be too blinded from the hurt of your previous failure to see them. The benefit of failure is that you can do better next time.
Failure benefit 4: It builds strength of character
Anyone can look the hero when times are good but how do you measure up when the going gets tough? Do you crumble like a sandcastle or do you stand your ground and keep smiling, focusing on where you want to be? Take a moment to think about that before you consider yourself a “failure”.
Going through a failure is a remarkable test of your character, your courage, your determination and your mind set. I truly believe that it isn’t until you’ve been through the worst, that you can truly appreciate the best.
Failure is kind of like a bench mark. It will show you what you are made of, and trust me, you are tougher than you realise.
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not know how close they were to success before they gave up”
Failure benefit 5: It realigns you to your goals
Time moves, circumstances change, and goals shift. One benefit of failure is that it gives you a chance to reassess your goals and where you want to go.
Whatever your goal you are going to experience hurdles and set backs along the way. I haven’t met one person who thinks you can cruise your way to success luckily.
Use failure as a natural milestone to check in with your long-term goals and assess.
Ask, is this really what I want? Am I prepared to put in the hard work? Have I made mistakes that I can learn from?
If your goal has changed, that is ok. Now is your chance to amend it. If you’re not willing to push on after your failure, then you know the goal is not something you really want. If your goal is the same, fantastic – use the failure to spur you on.
Those who have failed before they made a success…
If you think that those who “made it” were lucky or had success handed to them on a plate, then think again. There are so many famous success-over-failure stories. My favourite story is…
Sylvester Stallone had it rough as child, being taunted in school and constantly in and out of foster homes. As an adult, things didn’t improve as he was unable to earn a steady income, and even had to sell his dog for $25.00 to help pay his electricity bill.
It was only 2 weeks after selling his dog that he wrote the Rocky script in nearly 20 hours straight. After being rejected over 1,500 times (that’s more than Edison’s failure!), Stallone was given a nod by United Artists for $125,000… BUT only if Stallone would NOT star in it. Stallone refused.
Even when he was subsequently offered $250,000 and $325,000, he still refused as he wanted to star in it. He finally reached a compromise, starring in the film but only taking $35,000 and a percentage of profits as a concession…
His beloved dog, for $15,000! But I am sure he could afford it seeing as Rocky grossed over $200,000,000 and his sequels grossed over a billion dollars!!
“When life knocks you down, try and land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up”
Like this article? Then why not share it on social media? Also, check out the “resources” section of www.alicedartnell.com and download the free guide and check list to goal writing.
Other Blog Articles On My Web Site
Below are links to other blog articles that you might be interested to read.
If you asked me what was one of the things I was most proud about in my corporate career, apart from moving up the ladder fairly quickly, it would also probably be my work-life balance.
When it comes to goal setting, you’ll have heard about SMART goals. But if SMART goals are the way to do it, then why do so many of us not achieve our goals? Here is why SMART goals are stupid and some top tips how you can improve your goal setting!
Those days. We’ve all had them. You get out of the wrong side of bed, you miss a train by milliseconds & step in a deeper-than-expected puddle. So let me share five simple ways to turn your day around. Fast..
Let’s Work Together
If you are serious about wanting to make life-long changes and positively transform your life, then I would love to hear from you to see how I can support you.
This article is written by Alice Dartnell, life and success coach of Alice Dartnell Limited. Alice empowers busy professionals to be successful, transform their lives and achieve more by improving their confidence, mindset and time management.
For more information please see www.alicedartnell.com.